First, I must announce that I do not belong to the FIRE  (financial independent and retire early) camp. I grew up in China where people are encouraged to work hard perhaps under thousand years of Confucious influence, or because China had been falling behind the west since mid-nineteenth century, and life had been hard for the mass.

My School Life

Like many of my peers, I came to the state in 98 with only two suit cases and savings of about $7000, which I considered as a big fortune. Before coming to the US, I had been working in a company for three years and contributed financially to my original family–parents and siblings–as the oldest child. I worked during the day, and at night I studied for TOFEL and GMAT exams using the materials borrowed from friends. Working full time, I couldn’t afford to travel to Beijing or to attend intensive before-test camps locally.  Because of my math background (my undergraduate is in Physics), I received admissions to three universities with partial scholarship in 1997, but was denied visa three times. With tips from a former Chinese Students at Case Western University whom I never met, I finally obtained F1-visa in 1998 and came to Cleveland, Ohio to study for my Masters in Management Science/Operations Research.

Coming from a poor family, I originally did not plan to pursue a PHD, but a master degree in Operations Research and then went to work  to improve the financial situations of my family.  At the time, I didn’t have full scholarship and I still needed to pay a portion of tuition and worked as TA for the partial tuition waive. The situation changed the second year. The department let me waiver full tuition on the condition of becoming a TA for professors.

The master program was two-year long. During these two years, I shared an apartment with two roommates, and I stayed in the cheapest living-room-turned bedroom without a dividing wall or door, with a monthly rent of $250 (or $200) plus utilities. In addition to grading and studying, I found campus job (first as a helper in the computer lab). The job was easy and it paid roughly $8 per hour. Later, by the time I was about to graduate, I worked part-time at an office–designing webpages for the school–much better paid (perhaps $10 an hour) and the boss was super nice.  At that time, I envied many fellow Chinese students who were pursuing a PhD degree with full scholarship ($800 a month stipend initially, later increased to $1200 a month).

Needless to say, money was tight. I did not own a car.  I lived in little Italy, a neighborhood within walking distance to campus. School friends gave me a ride for grocery shopping over the weekends. I often bought the cheapest food –such as chicken legs/wings (they were luxuries back in Chinese, occasional treat).  I was still very happy about my life conditions–on-demand hot water shower, washer and dryer, and I had my own bedroom. Never before that point, I had my own bedroom.  More important,  the great learning environment and student service at Case Western Reserve University!

The only constraint was time which I must manage well. On weekends, after shopping, I often cook meal (protein) for a whole week. That way, on weekdays, i only needed to stir-fry fresh vegetables to supplement meat. Stir-flying took little time.  Almost everyday, I packed two meals with me to school. When I came home, it had well passed 11pm.  I were still happy and content with my life because looking ahead, I can see my life would for sure change for the better. Or perhaps my reference point (life back in China then) was low.

Back in China then, despite I had an advanced degree, the pay was low compared even with poor student’s scholarship or minimum wage in the US.   I lived in a company dorm room that must be shared with a colleague. There were no private bathrooms or kitchens. Lunch was provided by the company. Laundry must be done by hand even in cold winter. I was happy then also because my reference point was my college life where most of my peers had parents who earn good salary, while my parents were only peasants toiling in the field with little money to spare.  My stress came mostly from conscious or subconscious comparison with those who worked from foreign companies and earned fat pays or those whose parents helped them landing a stable and well-paid position–government-owned monopolistic companies such as Export & Import companies, Utility companies, and big bank jobs.

Back in college, while I enjoyed learning, my stress mostly came from comparison with peers whose parents are well educated and looked sophisticated than me who came from a countryside whether people are much less polished in demeanor or appearance.   It took me a few years to get over this inferiority syndrome.   By the junior or senior year,  stress shifted to worries about landing a job after graduation–without social ties, it was near impossible to get a good job.

Looking back, I can clearly see how my desires and wishes get upgraded and shifted upward over time. It is not necessarily a bad thing. After all, for a common person like me, it is wishes and desires that fire life.

Graduating and then Back to School

By the time I graduated in 2000, I managed saving a couple thousand of dollars. Landing two job offers after graduation, I chose the job in a nearby town. With the money and help from school friends, I bought a seven-year old Nissan Altima at bout $3400 at the time of graduation.  The annual salary of my job as a supply chain analyst was about $54k, an considerable amount. I worked hard.  I was happy with my job.  Upon arriving at the job, The HR department explained 401K etc and health care plan to me.   But, they were completely foreign to me.  I had no clue, so I didn’t set up any retirement plans.    For the first time in my life, I rented a one-bedroom apartment at about $500 a month.  American tax system started to surprise me after receiving my first pay stud. I was disappointed to find out my take-home money was only about 3K after all kinds of deductions. 

For a semester or so, i still registered a 3-credit hour independent study with a professor at Case, perhaps due to the encouragement of my boss who wanted to know about inventory management and supply chain network design.When I had spare time, I started to learn more about finances, such as IRA, 401k etc. Through books from public library—my friends told me first thing upon my arrival at the US–books and videos were free to borrow from public libraries.  I was thrilled upon hearing this.  I felt like I found a fortune—-as a book/movie lover. The movies helped greatly in improving my spoken English.

Unfortunately, the internet bubble bursted soon after, I was reorganized out of job around May or June 2001, after working for around eight months when I just received H1B working visa.  That was the biggest blow in my life ever at that time. Growing up in a planned economy, the idea that an advanced degree implies a guaranteed life-time well-pay job has been deeply inculcated in me.  And there was the brutal reality: I did not have green card. Losing a job meant losing the legal status of staying in the US. And I must decide what to do quickly within a week or so. My options were as follows:

• quickly finding another job–which was unlikely,
• packing up and leaving the country, or
• going back to school for a PHD, or
• another degree with promising financial payoff—financial engineering?   

At this point, I had been working for about seven or eight months with savings of roughly $2oK.   Obviously, I cannot afford the expensive Master program in financial engineering. As an international student, I am not eligible for financial aid either. Thus, going for the master in financial engineering would be a gamble. Additionally,   given that the quantitative finance job markets were full of candidates with Phds in math or physics, can a Master in Financial engineering compete with those smart asses? PhDs often mean academic career. Am I smart enough? The field of operations research is ideal for those who have a math degree.  Can I compete with them?  I am a shy person; can I be an excellent teacher in the classroom?

These questions like snakes t constantly twining me; I spent many sleepless nights. Luckily, I still had one trust-worthy school friend who are a few years older than me, to whom I can turn to for advice and suggestions.  Finally, I decided to return to Case for a PhD in Operations Research. Given my good grades at school, the department agreed to admit me and offered me full scholarship. 

By the time I returned to Case for PHDs, I had savings of about $20K. I moved back to old life: first sharing an two-bedroom apartment with a roommate, then rented a room ($275 or $300) a month in a house; both are within walking distance so I did not have to pay expensive parking.  PhD student’s life was somewhat different from a Master’s.  I turned my energy  to study than look for a job. With scholarship, I no longer needed to work part-time on campus jobs, only helping professors grading assignment and holding office hours.  Life had been so much better when I did not have to spin for more than 12 hours a day.

Looking to stay four years to complete my PhD degree, I had a bit more time for fun also. Occasionally, a very friend student couple from Thailand would invite me to go with them to a discount theaters–Wednesday night– first $1 a movie–later increased to $2. Friendship was a must ingredient of a happy life and it came naturally with joining the PhD program.  University circle where CWRU is located is a place rich of culture. There are several museums. Institute of Art and music is there,  Cleveland Art Museum is free; and Cleveland symphony is on campus, Cleveland Clinic is one or two bus stops away. As student I often get free lottery tickets to the symphony, play and opera houses of Cleveland. Indeed, our happiness is not built upon money.  I was happy other than normal stress as a PhD student.

Now as professionally, friendship with colleagues seemed rare in the US, it is no longer free. I would have to pursue it proactively otherwise I will be on my own in this extremely individualistic society.