Appreciation Journal for 100 Days

Day 1

Happy/positive psychologists tell us that an effective method to boost our happiness is to keep a journal and remind us of at least three things to appreciate and thank for. 

The irony is that if you are happy, then you can throw out this crutch and still be happy. Only if you are unhappy or unhappy about your unhappiness, it would be helpful to write a gratitude journal.  If you are OK with your unhappiness, then you will not need to keep a gratitude diary as an antidote to unhappiness. 

So I admit I am an unhappy person for a long long time and I am not 100% accepting my current unhappy status, I will try to remind myself at least three things I am grateful for. Here you go:

1.  I have a job that offers great opportunities to interact with young students so I can make positive impacts on.
2. I am financially independent; I can support myself even without working from now on; because of the above point, I will continue to work.
3.  I am physically healthy.

Day 2

I am trying my best to be OK with unhappy. Once you are prepared to accept what is, then you will become like a pond: despite there are waves in response to wind, only one feet down the water the pond is calm without.  I take out a walk at dusk eastward when I can see soft and warm pink/bluish glow in the sky. The sight calms me down. Here are what I am grateful for today:

1.  I did half an hour of Yin Yoga following a youtube video; it seems to relieve pains panged up in my body for a long time because I cannot help sighing a releasing sigh, like a child who stops crying after tiring himself out. I thank myself for doing it and thank the youtuber so it becomes a lot easier for me to practice yoga.
2. I read two articles by the famous pioneering modern writer, Lu Xun, who is from a town not so far from my hometown. Funny, he wrote about little chick and little duck from his childhood. I too had a short essay on little chicks–posted on this website, despite I were born 90 years after him. Little has changed in this period in the lives of chickens and ducks in the countryside over these 90 years. Rapid urbanization in China started only about 15 years ago. No wonder Mr. Lu and I share some common fond memories of yellow, greenish fluffy duckling and chicks.
3.  I am grateful that both my parents are still alive and relatively healthy; I can call them up despite they are at the other end of the global village.

Day 3

I woke up at 10am. It is Sunny. Do not blame me for being lazy.   My fitbit shows that I had 2-hour REM sleep stage. No wonder I remember I dreamed all kinds of dreams. It has been a long time that I had long and vivid dreams. It seems my 10k-and over daily steps have improved my sleep quality. Things I am thankful for today:

• I overcome procrastination and played one hour on my piano. Enjoyed it
• I biked to Standley Lake, which is only about 4 miles away. First time cycling since I got back from China.
• I snapped a glorious sunset photo near the pavilion on the hill by the lake.

Day 4

Once I reach 50, I realized that most precious resources we have is time and energy. When making purchasing decision, I will often question “what if I own this item”.  I will give it a pass if it saves me time and energy.  Here is the top item I appreciate myself today:

1. I bought and installed a fingerprint front door lock. When I go out for my daily walk, I will not need to take keys with me, especially in warm weather when I wear clothing without pockets. I feel so much lighter. And it encourages me to go out more often.
2. I realized the benefit of a keyless entry when I visited my family in China. My parents and I stayed at my sister’s rental apartment for a week or so when it was between being occupied. I has a speaking finger print lock/door handle. So cool. Thank my sister for helping me get the idea above.
3. I used my Panasonic breadmaker to make a loaf of bread —-with some extra butter–, the bread is crunchy outside, but super soft inside. It is delicious, better than the expensive load of bread I bought at a farmer’s market.

Day 5

1. I attended a meeting that brief about how foundations work. Before the meeting, the refreshments are good: cheeses, olives, deli meat
2.  I found myself enjoying teaching and interaction with students. In my early career, I was nervous at least in the beginning of a semester. It beats me when this transition occurs. I guess it just happened gradually so I myself even hardly notice it
3. I captured a glorious red sky at dusk. It is probably unique to Colorado Sky.

Day 6

As a middle-aged single living in an adopted country, the sense of loneliness and sometimes despond will creep in at inopportune times.  Right now, families and friends back in China are celebrating holidays—Mid-autumn festival and national day—-just as long as Chinese New Year holiday. Seeing posts in their moments posted in Wechat, the sense of despond deepens. I hope writing appreciation diary will shift me to more positive sides of life:

• I am determined to work quietly, not taking recreational outdoor activities until mid-October after my annual professional conference is over.   I finished writing up literature review of a research project.
• I did one hour of Yoga in the afternoon as a break. It realised lots of tension built up in my shoulder and neck area. I will continue to do it at least twice a week.
• My daily evening walk lets me capture a fantastic photo with a big rainbow bridging over the valley where my neighborhood is located.

Day 7

Continue to write up the introduction and literature review for the research project with two other collaborators. One of the collaborator is inexperienced. Asking her to check up new sections I revised and wrote, she changed back to the old version that contains a big error she made. I should have asked to make the changes instead of my doing it. How annoying!  Yes, I have not awakened spiritually. This kind of frustrations can cause a lingering ripple in my otherwise peaceful mood.   Now let count my blessings to offset it.

1. I sat and quietly completed the introduction and literature review, thus fulfilled one of my most important  task.
2.  I did laundry and line-dryed them.  All my clothing smell of Sun.  Before I came to the U.S., I did not have washing machine. Drying machine was rare back then. Nearly all families line-dry their laundry.   I love the smell of Sun in newly washed clothing.  Colorado Sun and Wind do a good job in drying them, almost as fast as drying machine.
3. My neighborhood is very scenic.  I can capture at least one or two good photos every time I take a walk.
   
   

Day 8

It’s a beautiful fall day in Colorado. The air is super dry, and my body senses it.

• Mild from of eczema like symptoms lurk in the morning but show themselves at night after 9m, especially in my legs. 
• Constipation quietly reminds me of its existence whenever dry weather comes.
• Nostrils also feel the toll of dryness—-dried blood formed in the breathing path shows up even in siliva.

The climate in Colorado seems not a best fit for me, someone who spend the youth in a very humid climate as the southeast coast of China.

Now back to positive things I appreciate for today:

• I take action to initiate meetings with two colleagues in the computer science department. The meetings are positive. Hopefully, this will alleviate my isolation and loneliness in my career at my current position. It can lead to collaboration in research. That will be fantastic.
•  I spent time pruning my Monstera house plant. It was out of shape. Now it is much more collected after I reorganize its stems.     I sit it on the side of a bathtub to prevent it from having dry symptoms as its mother, me. Monstera likes humid and hot environment. Around bathtub is its best spot.
• Walking around campus, I collected nearly 9000 steps without putting out any  deliberate effort.

Day9

Memories of significant past events and people have their own lives. They intend to stay in your mind for a long long time regardless of your conscious mind wishing to totally forget and wipe clean of them, especially when they do not have substitutes, i.e., similar events and people.  He appears in my dreams again. More precisely, his disappearance showed up in my dreams.  I saw two guys who are from southeast Asia, his housemates, in my dreams, were painting the exterior walls of the room he had stayed, but now vacated upon the request of the land lady.   

Waking up in the morning, I reflected the dream and tried to make out the meaning of the dream.  At least, since the room is empty, signifying he no longer lives in the room; painting the exterior of the room means that the room is prepared to take new guests.    

• Aha, it is good news. My subconscious now acknowledges that he has left and the room is being prepared to take in a new guest.  At least the subconscious now is congruent with the conscious on the fact that he left my life twenty years ago. I am ready to make peace with a piece of my past subconsciously. This is a matter worthy of celebrating! I now can look into future without tied to the past that has been haunting me and stopping me from moving forward.
• I have a epiphany that my complaints about the working place come from my resistance of accepting what it is. To stop myself from repeating the cycles (jump into a new job,  soon find out all shortcomings of the new place, and then want to move again), I must accept what is and work from there to improve myself. If good opportunity shows up, then move.   These shortcomings should not become matters that bother me on a daily basis so to disturb my peace of mind and what I would like to achieve.
• Whenever negativity springs up, try to neutralize it with positivity.

Day 10

Since August 9, the day I came back from my trip to China, I haven’t driven to a nearby park. I’ve been working on papers nearly every day， with one or two walks in my neighborhood a day. My neighborhood is beautiful, but repeating the same pattern bores me out. I need break the sameness so I can be renewed.   

It is a beautiful autumn day. When I looked up from my computer desk,  I noticed that the tree in my northwestern neighbor’s yard has become colorful. I was taken aback. Why didn’t I notice it before as I sat by the window nearly every day.  

I decided to break the sameness by going to the TJ’s at downtown Boulder to get the tasty fannel roots. On my way back, I was going to drive to Elrado springs canyon park. It was beautiful. And Ken, the meetup organizer took me there once, he parked in a side entrance and hiked into the park. Indeed, when I drove there, a sign by the road indicates ” the parking lots are full in the park, you may be denied access to the park.”   No worries, I will park where ken used to park, and hike my way into Elrado Springs Canyon. Here are three things I am grateful for today:

1.  Ken, the meetup guy who showed me the entrance to the park known to perhaps only Boulder residents.
2. The people who set up meetup online social media
3. The scenic views of the park.

Day 11

1. I cooked broad bean soup for breakfast. it does not take long to fully cook broad beans. I like its nutty taste. Feel good to change my breakfast diet.
2. My neighborhood is absolutely stunning beautiful. See attached photos.
3. I am glad the weather is cooling, now I can change into fall clothing–thin merino sweaters by Uniqlo. They are so comfortable.

Day 12

I just came back from my annual professional meeting. My last attendance is in 2019.

• I appreciate the opportunity to see what smart people worldwide are working together to make our life better.
• Online/virtual meetings will never replace face-to-face conversations. We are social animals by design. Not only social interactions can energize and engage us,  they are also our vitamins and proteins to feed and live on.
• I took the airport bus to a nearest park-n-ride spot then Ubered home. This saved me $40 dollars and emitted less carbon to the Earth.
  

  Art is a guarantee of sanity 

  

  Birdview of the rockies

Day 13

1. I thank myself for meditating for 30 minutes before bedtime. This helped me waking up early this morning.
2. It is a beautiful Autumn morning–trees with golden leaves. I checked on my house plant the first thing today.
3. I thank Jeanette for checking on my property in St Louis from time to time.

Day 14

 A quiet day spent on catching up with work delayed by the conference. Things to appreciate for:

• Former colleague responded quickly to my inquiry and congrats on his new career as the Dean of a business school.
• A sunny beautiful day–enjoyed my usual evening walk of 45 minutes.
• Talked with mom over phone—dad is enjoying local operas in nearby villages almost every night. Mom said that several villages have operas on around these days.

Day 15

A beautiful morning. Looking to the right, rocky flat is bathed in golden lights. Trees in my neighbors’ yard have turned golden and maroon. Things to be thankful for:

1. Myself. I mediated for 40minutes before night, and was able to wean off from youtube watching before getting to sleep.
2. I put away most of summer clothing and found that I have way too much clothing: abundance problem.
3. Looking at my pantry and fridge, abundance again. I can skip my monthly Costco trip for October.

Day 16

Things I am thankful for:

1. Rediscover the joy of listening to classical music rather than podcasts that sometimes are nearly noises, at best personal opinions.
2. finished reading an essay —talking about a personal psychological journal and the mundanes around his life: broken artists, writers, and everyday common people, landlady, after the 1987 financial black day.
3. Delicious raisins bread made by Toshiba bread machine bought from ebay in 2020-shipped from Japan. The 300-dollar machine is a good investment as it provides freshly made bread without much troubles.

Day 17

For a long time, I put self-appearance behind my mind but focus on work. Today I made a change that makes myself happy.

1. Put that fall dress up and I feel better about myself and a bit happy. (The dress looks nice, but is of a nun style).
2.  Re-pick up my hobby: listening to the classical music. They are better chicken soup for my soul than majority of the youtube channels.
3. I am glad to find out that I no longer need to connect my macbook to a power outlet, the usc cable connecting it to an external monitor is able to charge it!. No need to log around a charge and a cable with me to school.

 

Day 18

I noticed that I spent too much time on social media, especially youtube.com and have the habit of listening to it while hitting the bed. I will try to not take any electronic gadgets into bedroom.

1.  I gave wandering drew a haircut and was surprised to find that taking care of plants can be relaxing. From just a few pieces, I now have three pots of wondering jews. one pot is looking gorgeous, like a canopy, in my sitting room.
2. Tried to make a tofu dish following a youtube show with some adaption–use crackpot to cook directly. The result is mixed. I will definitely need to steam it, not cook it directly on the stove.
3. I like the change of seasons: nearly all summer clothing have retired into containers, late fall/winter clothing are out to serve. Wearing them feels like reunion with old friends.

Day 19

Pressure from work builds up to a degree that I must find a outlet. After settling in Colorado for the 14th month, I have never ventured out into the mountain despite I drive along the east skirt of the mountain to and from work.  Although, colorful fall leaves have gone, I feel I must go before snow comes late tonight or tomorrow despite it is already quite late in the day, about 2:30pm. And the Sun sets around a bit past 5pm. Since the map shows only about 30 min away, I decide to execute my plan.

Only about 10 minutes’ drive into the west along state 72 after crossing state 93, it is all mountains all covered with cone like trees—the tips of all trees glitter under the sun as if they are blessed with silver lining by God.

What a view! My heart sings. The mountain road is winding and turning. I try hard not to be distracted by the splendid view I have never seen before.  Several pickups surpass me the meanwhile, as if rushing for gold forgotten by forerunners of the West.

Why didn’t I venture out before! It’s only ten minute drive from my home!

Branching out of the state 72 is twin spruce unpaved dirt road–continuing about 6 miles. Iphone map says “arrived”. I stopped at a designated roadside parking spot. It is a camping site of the Golden Canyon State Park. I guess it is the place. It is really cool. I put on a light down jacket, take out my camera bag; and go without a water bottle as I am going to hike about 2 hours.

Walking a broad road for about 5 minutes, it is an empty  campground site without a soul. Map of the park is posted, but it does not tell me where I am. My phone loses cell signal. I am indeed in the wilderness.  A sense of venture rises in me and this invigorates me. I did not do any internet search but the direction. Just pick any trail and perhaps mix and match them.

Here is how my route goes—-Buffalo–forgotten valley-mountain lion (half of the loop only)-then return (as the SUN sets behind the mountains), and the air turns very chilly despite  I wear a down jacket and walk all the time.

In the Forgotten Valley, there is a pond and three deserted cabins that used to belong to a Sweden American Family of four generations.  I thought to myself, if one is allowed to retire from modern world, and live in a cabin of this like,  the world would be probably much better and richer in mental treasure.  Isn’t Henry Thoreau’s <Walden Lake> an effective medicine for us who are  stressed and tired from the competition in our modern society?

 

Day 20

 last Friday Oct 27, 2023, Denver area got its first snow of the new winter season, I stayed home whole day.

• I completed the course plan/materials for the optimization class in the Spring. The details will be left during the semester.
• Putting summer clothing away. I realize that I already own a lot. This curbs my impulses to buy more
• Turned off social media, and practice yoga for 30 minutes before bedtime. This helps restore my body and neutralizes the stiffness from walking too long on Friday’s excursion to Golden Canyon State Park.

Day 21

• I am glad I have parents to call on when I feel lonely though they are at the other end of the Earth.
• I am grateful that I have a job with flexible working schedule.
• I thank myself that I have the determination to walk away from some youtube channels that merely emit noises.

Day 22

• I am glad that I wake up this morning and the Sun is still shining.
• The class went well, all students but one turn up for the game.
• The apples I had are crispy and sweet. Remember I ate an apple for the first time in my 20s when I was at college. How much my life has improved materially.

Day 23

• I meditated for 34 minutes straight and had a restful sleep.
• My bread machine was baking fresh bread for breakfast; and the aroma of fresh bread reminds me of smell of holidays when my grandma was busy preparing food for Chinese New Year. It soothes me into sleep.
• I found out the plant in the white tin can is called Magenta Triostar. I though it is Ti-plant, but it does not have T shape. I am glad I finally can know it better.

Day 24–how I changed the use of the bedrooms to make myself feel better.

In China, the bedroom that receives the most light is often considered the best. And, if possible, nearly all architects in China will make the master bedroom facing the South—to receive most natural light and avoid northwest wind in Winter.   That’s the number one principle in Fengshui (wind and water literally).

The house I live in faces the south, but because the garage is in the front like most newer houses do,  it takes the majority of the south side space of the lot, only the southeast bedroom to the right of the entrance receives abundant sunlight.    The master bedroom, living room,  and dining room are all in the back of the house–facing the North.  The master bedroom is at the northwestern corner! The worst spot to be a master bedroom. 

 If I sleep in the master bedroom (a corner of it is used as office space), I literally do not receive any sunlight whole day except a brief moment from a west facing long narrow window. In winter, the front-range gust often shakes the windows and tubes on the roof, and makes the house clattering.

I’ve been thinking how to make better use of the precious southeast bedroom since moving in, but did nothing till this week.   

With all the Sunlight coming from the windows, I will feel much warmer working in the southeast bedroom turned office  in the morning! So I did. Over the week, I took apart the bed in the southeast bedroom and converted it into a morning office. I am glad I did!  No one ever visited me and stayed overnight thus far. There is no use of the bed. It has to go to the garage!

• Yeah! I already work in the new office filled with sunlights for a few days. I am at least 1% happier.

I have also completely abandoned the master bedroom and sleep in the east bedroom adjacent to the office. I found myself sleeping much better in the smaller bedroom  than in the master bedroom. It is very quiet.  It does not face the front street, nor there are dogs barking from neighbors across the backyard.  Morning sunlight lightens up the room  and gentling wakes me up through the window shade in the morning.  And it absolutely has no clutter in it. I do not store any clothing in it. It just has a bed, a dresser which is empty, and a bedside table, and a lamp. When I wake up in the morning, I walk back to the northwestern master bedroom to wash up.

 The master bedroom is way too big; it must have at least 400 square feet, and somewhat irregular which I found quite bothersome at night when I lay in bed, facing the irregular wall.  Unless my bed is of Chinese traditional style: with poles that you can put a canopy down while sleeping on the bed, I simply do not feel safe and secure. 

 If you do not mean what a traditional chinese bed look like, you can check out the youtube tv series: the dream of red mansion. If you sleep in one, you will feel cocooned in and very cozy.

If you ever have a chance to visit the Forbidden City in Beijing, check out the sleeping chamber of  the Emperor, it is not big at all, just the right size.

Like many things in the U.S., big is mistaken as ” good”, big car, big house, big master bedroom, big yard, big plate, and big cup etc..   But I can tell you,  a big master bedroom is not good for sleep.

With these being said, I am glad I have the luxury to have two offices in my home and can make changes as I want it.

Day 25

• I am glad that I cycled out to Standly Lake again to enjoy the sun and beautiful fall afternoon.  The turquoise lake calms my agitation.
• I am able to site for 35 minutes before bed without counting minutes. The time goes by fast.
• I love the delicious smoothies my blender makes for me: an apple, a few teaspoon of mango dices, and a few blue berries plus two table spoons of milled flax seed. It is fulfilling dinner. The only drawback is that I will have to take two bathroom trips in the middle of the night. I will drink smoothies for breakfast instead.

Day 26

• I meditated again tonight for 36 minutes. This time I sat in a half lotus with right foot rest on left thigh.  The process is not as peaceful as yesterday. My mind kept wondering around—perhaps too much stimulation from internet during the day.
• I walked one and half hours in the afternoon gentle sun on the flat part of the trail on the skirt of rocky flat. My fitbit charge2 seems losing its ability to calculate the distance; it is way off perhaps by 50% recording my walking distance.  I walked more than 15K steps today.
• I read a lovely chapter from a book–joyful living–the chapter nicely describes how colors and lights affect our mood. What a coincidence! I moved my office to the sunniest room in my house. It indeed makes my a bit happier.

Day 27

• A beautiful warm autumn day, much appreciated after having tasted a bit of winter last weekend, the first snow fall in late October and cold week.
• Appreciate one referee pointing out a shortcoming of the motivation story of my paper. I know how to fix and improve the paper.
• I started running on a treadmill again at the fitness club in my community for 45 minutes. Surprisingly, I can run at 5.4 mph easily even if after quitting running for half a year. Last year when I first started out run at 3.8mph.

Day 28

• I am glad that I run into a great book today: the contents are great to remind me the principles and values of my life: <a guide to good life> the book introduces us to a school of Ancient Greek philosophy–stoicism: Here is the a summary of most modern people’s life:

"Most religions, after telling followers what they must do to be morally upstanding and get into heaven, leave to people to determine what things in life are and aren't worth pursuing. This is why the followers of the various religions, despite the differences in their beliefs, end up with the same impromptu philosophy of life, namely, a form of enlightened hedonism. Similar jobs, similar career ambitions, same degree of whatever consumer products are currently in vogue.”

This rings so true especially for highly homogenous society–China or majority of east Asia.

• I meditated again for 38 minutes before bedtime. However, my sleep is somewhat restless despite my fitbit charge 2 scores it at 82 points.

The funding requirement of the school and the provost’s speech during the department meeting deeply upset me: he dismissed all researches going on around the world in business schools as no different from teaching if professors do not getting funding. If I had recorded his speech and put it into youtube, he would have upset the whole tribe of scholars in Business schools!

• I am glad that I was able to reduce social media consuming time today.

Day 29

Thanks for a sunny/mild early winter Sunday. I went out cycling to Standley Lake for about 1.5 hours. In the Sun, it is warm, only needing a thin layer to protect from UV and wind when moving.

I meditated for about 30 minutes before bed. Again I woke up around 4am in the morning. Feel ready for the day.

I put the pedal floor light in the master bedroom by the windows. Light bulbs give out warm pink/reddish light. It adds a touch of holiday spirit to my home.

Day 30

• I received my apple watch today. As other Apple products, its craftsmanship is incredible, well worth the extra money I pay for it than fitbit Charge 2 that I owned for 6 years. I am glad I can afford the incredible product.
• I meditated again for 42 minutes before bedtime. This morning I did wake up at 4am and was able to go back to sleep till 7am.
• I talked to parents via phone this evening. They are both healthy and working on a client’s traditional Chinese cotton comfort for wedding ceremony.  I am lucky that I still have healthy and physically robust parents.

Day 31

• Surprisingly, I like the pumpkin pie leftover from the department’s social event. it is not awefully too sweet.
• I went to the flute concert at green center. The acoustic effect is not great, and audience are few. Yet it brings back my happy time at Case Western Reserve, when I often went to faculty recital concerts at Cleveland Institute of Music.
• Asparagus plant is growing beautifully on my office desk.

Day 32

• It is a gloomy weekend.  I decided to go to the mountains again—the most popular point–the panorama point–with view of snow-capped mountain peaks. It is about 30-min drive following state highway 72–twin spruce road.  There were already a few hikers in the trail head. A father and daughter were about to start their hike.  She knows the trails well. with their permission, I tagged along about 60% of the hike (racoon trail + part of mule deer trail). The air is crispy. After leaving the trail head, I decided to stop at a parking lot in my way back—it is the other end of mule deer trail (with all pine groves). I ran into only three other hikers.  Along the trails are high thick pine trees and it was windless as if the pine grove is shielding away the nature’s elements for hikers. I felt protected and safe.  I am grateful that splendid mountains are only half an hour drive away.
• I am grateful that I am healthy
• I am glad to see so many stunningly beautiful aspen trees in the hike today.

Day 33

I am glad that my parents are healthy and alive. I am glad I can wake up naturally every morning. No need to rush up and get to work at a prescribed time. I am glad that I am protected from the elements despite It is gusty and drizzling outside.

Day 34

I finally bought the little giant ladders from Costco last weekend.  Many of Costco’s goods are seasonal including ladders. Now it is the season for ladders because families will decorate their houses for the coming holidays and ladders will be very handy.   I use the ladders to change all the lightbulbs in the house to led lights. Searching my storage, I found I had bought four boxes of led lightbulbs. After finishing the project, I still have two boxes left.   How superfluous the modern western life is! And I consider myself as a person who shops much less than common Americans.  Now I can turn on the kitchen lights (four lights in total with a click of a switch, another sign of superfluous) with less guilty.

I meditated for 40 minutes before bed and woke up this morning to see sun lit window shade; a reward for waking up fully rested.

I am grateful for the free coffee/tea in my school so I do not have to buy a tea kettle and bring my own beverage.

Day 35

Today is the day before Thanksgiving, and it is a sunny warm early winter day. I decided to bike to Standley Lake again. I am glad I did. There are many birds–not sure geese or eagle on the bank in the Bald Eagle protection area. Other than that, on the south bank–closer to my home, are long-term residents, wild ducks. They are very quite. One is dozing away, with head turned backward and resting on its own back. This reminded me of my old days/places when/where old villagers including my grandma basking in warm sunlight at the south side of a neighbor’s home in winter time. The sight of a duck dozing in the Sun quiets many of my restlessness and worries buried deep down in my conscious or subconscious. 

I prepared for the coming cold days, putting one-inchish insulation rubber bands under the front and side door. Feel good that I am able to take care of my house that has been loyally providing me a safe and comfortable resting place.

Ran the dishwasher today. All plates and bowls are super clean and warm. It is a joy to putting them back into cupboard.

Day 36

Thanksgiving break and flashing big discount awaken my shopping desire. Our energy and attention have to fix themselves on something. The fact that my shopping desire can be aroused by the shopping spirt means that I am still not busy enough so that shopping spirt can catch me. Here are what I ordered in before and around Thanksgiving;

• Apple watch
• A pair of tri-noosa Asics running shoes–the old pair was bought in 2016 and soon will fail.
• Marmot Chelsa winter coat-hip length; my old coat was bought in 2006 (still works, but is no longer enough to deal with harsh gusty colorado winter)
• Marmot short down coat for not so cold days.  Uniqlo down coats can only handle 40ish mild days.

So my first appreciation goes to the joy Apple watch brings—-the snoopy watch face is like a series of mini cartoon movie.

My second appreciation goes to a new trail in Golden I walked for the first time—-clear creek trail—the trail is in between mountains with tall trees and the creek’s gentle running sound. There are lots of walkers, bikers, and runners—little, young, and old.

My piano that moved with me over 17 years; I can play to enjoy myself anytime I want to.

Day 37

• I walk every day for 80 minutes, a total of 12 K steps.
• I am happy this Winter is so much warmer than last one.
• I appreciate that I will have a TA for my classes in the Spring of 2024.

Day 38 (12/30/23)

I am thankful that

• I have a sister to talk to.
• There are an abundance of yoga videos on youtube
• kundalini yoga’s repetitive twisting krya seems to be loosening my frozen neck and shoulders area; other forms of exercises, walking, strength training, and flow yoga do not have such strong effects.

Day 39 (12/31/23)

Last day of the year, people often start to reflect on the year about to pass. I am going to treat it as a normal day:

• Looking at my closet—-it is big, like a small bedroom. And, there are so many clothing. In the past, I can put all my clothing and bedding in just two suitcases. I will not bring in anything new until I wear pieces out. 
• I am thankful for having many days I can sleep till I wake up naturally.
• I am happy to find that Walmart has Napa cabbage at a better price than any other local grocers, and able to make Korean style ferment cabbage—-Kimchi. I will have delicious and healthy dish to go with congee or oatmeals.

Day 40( 1/1/23)

• Thus far, it is a warmer winter than last year. And natural gas price has gong down by 1/3. I am happy that so far my heating bill has been going down for $140 (bills due in December and January).
• If I had more friends, my life would be perfect. Materially, I am overabundant. Evidence?  Easy, Whenever I used up a bag, a jar, a bottle of something, I feel a sense of achievement—things are used up, not wasted away.
• I clean kitchen island counter top; the space looks so much tidy and neat. It improves my mood.

Day 41

• KS has big plants for sale over the holidays this year. I bough a pot of fiddle leaf ficus—–love the big green leaves.
• Two days of interview are over.  Job markets are competitive over all spectrums of social orders. About 100 applications for 1 position. And yet who gets the job offer is still quite random despite rigorous three-step screening process. Those who are good at soft skills often have huge advantage of those who are not.
•  I got a book from local shared library box—Angels & Demons–finished reading chapter 1. The language and plots are sharp, forceful, and colorful. To compare it with Chinese ancient poems is like to compare coffee with green tea; or spicy Thai food with Cantonese cuisine.

Day 42

•  For the past three weeks, I walk every day for about 3.8 miles in a neighborhood trail. Today I tried to inject some jogging in between. It turns out I finished the route 15 minutes earlier than usual. Running just saves me 15 minutes and makes my heart healthier. The ability of accelerating and decelerating fast is a way to measure how healthy one’s heart . Another measure isVO2Max, which is the maximum amount of oxygen body can consume during exercise. Only more intense and more frequent cardiovascular exercises (running, HIIT) can increase this index.
•  I am glad that I find a new good collaborator in research.
• Enjoyed interacting with job candidates online. It serves as a mirror of my old self and a guide how to behave if I am going to move again in my career. 

Day 43

•  One way to change an old habit is to replace it with a new enjoyable one. Today, I made a change. Instead relying on youtube to get a dose of news/excitement, i.e.,  release of dopamine, I switched to reading—a book borrowed from community free library—the theme is of science vs religion, written by Dan Brown, the same author who wrote < Da Vinci Code>. It is a thriller book. It is a winter day, gusty and cold. Sitting in my chair, afternoon sun peeking in from the west facing window, a somewhat strange sense of peace and content filled the afternoon. It has been a long time since I feel this way.
•  The book was fascinating and I couldn’t put it down till late at night when sleepiness hit me  and I had to drop the book. A traditional book does not give out blue lights like digital gadgets which will interfere one’s sleep. Digital break is necessarily for one’s sanity even if only for an afternoon or a night.
• In the past month, I have formed a new habit of daily walk to the opposite direction of my old route—-a 3.8-mile long route to the west side of trail in my neighborhood. It has a better mountainview and most of the trail is bathed in the sun when I walk around noon.

Day 44

•  I splurged 40 dollars over the holiday on house plants: One snake plant with golden edge and one fiddle leaf ficus tree. It is better to have few bigger plants than many small plants in the house. Tall plants suit the house better as the ceiling is 10-feet high and the entrance is twice high.
  Now they are still in their infant period. I put them in the only sun-bathed south facing room in my house where I work in the morning. Looking at their beauty raises my spirit at least half notch higher.
• The ground is covered with snow and the road is slippery.  Rather than walking on the big dry creek trail as I do in this month, I use the little gym in my neighborhood. It turned out jogging on the smooth surface of a treadmill at a steady pace burns more calories than walk/jog in the big dry creek trail. My heart rate goes up to 130s, a pace that challenges my heart but not too overtaxing on my body. The coming months–Jan and Feb–are going to be colder and snowier than December; I will use the gym more often to get good workouts.
• I found that visiting closet  and realizing how much clothing you already own is an effect way to combat the urge to shop that name-brand high-tech outdoor jackets. On top of it, imaging that I will have to move again in a few months also will make the urge ebb quickly, because every time i moved, I wished I owned much less stuff.

Day 45

• I am glad that I quickly dissipate angry emotion triggered by an event this morning.
  Tried to catch the GS bus for the first time to reduce carbon emission from driving. It was a gusty and cold day.  The bus stop is right at the front range mountains.  The gusty wind seems able to blow me up to the sky when I walked again it toward the bus booth. As it is my 1st time ever to use public transportation,  I was not sure the bus would show up or not on time or not. The booth does slow down the wind somewhat. The car traffic at the crossing made the air smell like gasoline. Around 8:48am (punctual), while I was checking the bus ride app on my phone, from the corner of my eyes, I saw the bus zipping right through the intersection of HWy 93 and CO 72. The bus driver probably not even peeked at the bus stop! and I was standing there in a bright red down coat.  If he did, he would have seen me waiting in the wind for the bus!
  
  Watching the back of the bus, an emotion rose up instantaneously in my chest, I almost felt like to curse the bus and its driver. In an instant, I remembered I vowed to stop being triggered by daily mundane life events.  So the anger quickly receded.  Instead, I decided to accept the fact and walk back to my car because there will be no more bus in the morning. If I plan to try to take a bus again,  the only way that can prevent this from happening again is to call customer service once I reach office to see whether there is a way to reminder the bus drivers to check the bus booth and stop to pick up passengers. It took me twice longer to get to office in a cold January Colorado morning.
• It is the first day of class for the Spring semester. I appreciate the opportunity to have impacts on younger and curious minds in the classroom
• My fitness ring in my apple watch moves much faster as walking to/from classroom walking to/from my car are sufficient to close the moving ring for the day, 300 calories.

Day 46

•  My sister’s family moved into a newly renovated home. Seven-year old niece gave me  a video tour of the new home. The unit is in the first flooring of a high-rise building and comes with a nice front garden. She also happily reported she is able to jump rope for 180 times in a minute–surpassing the past grade 170/minute. What an amazing speed, 3 times per second！
• The little girl (my niece, Ya) adores her big brother who is a sophomore in a university in beijing and comes home for the winter break. Ya mentioned her big brother more than ten times in our 15-minute conversations. I found chatting with Ya brings me much joy.
• After getting home, I started to clean kitchen island. I found cleaning and tidying things up relaxing after surviving the first week of the Spring semester.

Day 47

•  This weekend is very cold–low at -25 celsius degree until Tuesday, the coldest weather I ever experienced so far in my entire life. I decided to stay home. To warm up the house,  I baked an apple/almond pie–easy recipe. The pie will serve as breakfast for the next two or three days. If I add a bit more olive oil and a bit more baking powder; the texture and taste of the pie will probably improve.
• Since I cannot go out for a walk or run, I went to the empty basement for a walk or slow run. I noticed that many of the insulation sealing tapes around the window frames are either missing or falling off.  I even found ice at the base of a window.  How did the house get pass city building codes? I wonder myself. Perhaps I should run to Home Depot to get sealing tape around the windows and my heating bill will thank me later. Still, new house is much more energy efficient than old house. Despite my current house is twice as big as the apartment I had in St louis (in a nearly 100 years old duplex), my heating bill in cold Colorado Winter is not higher.
• Listen to a talk by a Tibetan Monk on meditation. One tip he offers is that once a meditator reaches a pleasant state, in which one’s thoughts have settled by better vanishes, it is better to come back to normal consciousness state. That way, one will be enticed to do meditation again and again until that peaceful state becomes a norm rather than an exception.  
     This principle makes sense. A pupil will continue to do exercise again and again until he/she enjoys the fruits of the exercise. However, the fruits should sustain the enjoyment only momentarily, otherwise, if the fruits become the aim of the exercise, they will become obstacles to achieve the goal of the exercise itself.

Day48

• It is the coldest days in the year, -28 celsius degree and the sky is dropping white powders. Outside world is cover in white, turning into the world of <snow white and seven dwarves>.  I am happy I do not have to drive to work today under this weather condition. 
• I meditated for 70 minutes, my longest record.  Falling into sleep is still quite hard. It is well past 1am before I finally fall into sleep according to the sleep tracker in my Apple watch.
• Despite I do not like driving in the snow, I went to the neighborhood gym for a work out–40-minute elliptical and 30-minute walk on a treadmill. No stress at all.

Day 49

• First time taking a bus since I moved to Colorado. Today is relatively warm. And, the bus driver stopped at the bus stop. The bus arrived at precisely at 8:48am as scheduled. Until reaching Golden, there were no more stops.  It seems that I can certainly park and ride the bus if I do not need to stay at office past 6pm. It takes a bit longer for me to arrive at work, but not much.  Besides, while I wait for a bus, I can read a physical book or listen to a download podcast, or simply thinking of my research problems, or thinking nothing/meditating and silently chanting “Namo Amitofo”—the most common Chinese Buddhism mantra.
• It is refreshing to read psychology professor Paul Broom’s Psycho book—-based on his course at Yale.
• How you spend your time–all sitting or injected with walking- makes a huge difference. Whenever I go to office, meaning walking between office and classroom (10min), and to/from my car, plus toilet trips easily add up more than 5k steps. If I can add one or two small 10-min mini-trips-10k steps can be achieved effortlessly.

Day 50

• Life seems to keep me challenged–one hard ball after another. I decided not to fight against it, but to accept the fact. With acceptance, much of the resistance and a sense of predicament seem to lose their grip on me.
• Learn not to be bothered by “it should be”, “he/she shouldn’t”. Accept the fact that imperfection and stupidity are everywhere. 
• Exercising, meditation, playing piano, reading, and journaling are my current antidote for stress, loneliness, and boredom.

Day 51

I am having blue—feel down and disappointed at myself and the world at large. That’s why I need to return here and count things I can appreciate.

•  I took my monthly shopping trip to Costco. Instead of checking prices of every single item. I decided to let it go and pick healthy items: wild salman, wild caught scallop, and lamb imported from Australia.  The total price is near $300 adding tax.    I am glad I can pay for grocery as much as I like if ignoring money-saving habit.  Chinese new year is near. I am planning to treating myself for this month–having savory food cooked at home.
• I cleaned three seven-year old Uniqlo light down coat. They look so much better after the wash and more delightful to wear them.
• Enjoyed walking for half an hour on the Standley lake trail–bathed in golden sun.