First, People are not as interested in me as I had always believed. I cannot remember what my friend was wearing when I saw her a week ago. Or how her makeup was, or what her hair was like. If I cannot remember, then why would she remember similar things about me?

Even though we do think about others from time to time, it is rarely for more than a few minutes. When we are done with thinking about others, our minds immediately revert to what concerns us. Why should we spend so many hours of our lives worrying about how we appear to others and how they think about us?

Stop worrying about what others think;  do what your heart wishes. Do not crowd your mind with “what ifs.” Uncomplicate your life and own up to your desires. 

Second, not everyone has to like us. Certainly, for all of us, there are politicians, coworkers, clients, and family members we simply cannot stand. So then why should everyone like me? There is no need to torment yourself because someone dislikes you. Accept it as a fact of life; you cannot control how others feel about you. If someone does not like you, let her/him have her/his opinion. Just move on.  When someone does not like us, it is not our problem but theirs. Not everyone will like us. This is a problem only if we let it bother us.

Do not let people’s opinions of you determine who you are. Instead of worrying about what others think, devote yourself to your dreams. 

Don’t flit here and there like a school of fish just because that is what your friends do or because others say it is what you should do. Stand by your convictions. Upend the existing paradigm and become a trendsetter.

Third, if we are brutally honest with ourselves, most things we do for others are in fact for ourselves. We pray for the well-being of our family because we need them to be around. We shed tears when our partner dies because of the impending loneliness. We sacrifice for our children in the hope that they will grow up the way we want, or most unconsciously because they will carry on our genes when we die, according to biologists. According to psychologists, our children are so dear to us because we have invested so much time, attention, energy, and money in them.

Unless we become enlightened like the Buddha or Jesus, it is difficult to abandon our deep-rooted preoccupation with ourselves.